April Fools’ Day 2023: best manufacturer jokes

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Here’s our run-down of the best motoring-related April Fools’ Day jokes from 2023.

Subaru’s Suba-Shoes

Subaru has a long history of all-wheel drive cars so the obvious thing to do is to branch out into ‘All-Heel drive Suba-Shoes’. The Subaru limited edition all-terrain walking boots offer maximum comfort thanks to a shock absorbing outer sole with ‘grill springs’. Better yet, the Japanese brand is giving interested buyers the chance to enquire through the Subaru website using the products code: AF2300LS.

Volkswagen’s car paint nail varnish

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Volkswagen has offered us the option of painting our nails in the same shade as our cars with the added benefit of being able to touch-up any scratches that might appear on the car’s bodywork. The gender neutral range of paint shades included Kings Red, Lapiz Blue or Oryx White but we were also told that the nail varnish “is specially formulated using a Fashionable Oil Overhaul Lacquer – known as F.O.O.L”.

Jeep Compass Mud-On

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Modern Jeeps may be perfectly at home on the tarmac, but the brand has long been a specialist in building cars that can handle the roughest of terrains.

Of course, after a days’ off-roading, driving home in your mud-caked Jeep is the best way to show others that you and your car mean business. Fortunately, Jeep’s ‘Chief Mud Officer’, Dr. Terry Firma, has created the perfect solution for those who want the off-road look without leaving their home.

The all-new aftermarket ‘Mud-On’ package gives you the option to have your Jeep Compass ‘pre-mudded’ in one of three colours: Clay, Soil or Silt. Each coating is carefully applied by specialised mud-spraying robots and, what’s more, the service is completely free-of-charge.

Honda Hush

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If you own a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, you will already know the bliss of drowning out irritating sounds with just the flick of a switch.

Many people use these headphones on public transport, so Honda has decided that this near-silent luxury should also be available in your car. If your passengers are starting to distract you from driving, simply press a button and all of your noise-related woes will be history.

The Hush system emits a customisable piece of continuous audio, and you can choose white noise, whale song or even elevator music. The system features voice recognition technology, too, and can be tailored to specific passengers such as a partner, in-law, child or even a barking dog.

Onto’s Formula-e subscription

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Always wanted to get behind the wheel of a Formula-e racing car but without the hassle of training? Onto’s new subscription service will now allow you to put one of these high-performance machines on your driveway with ease.

Admittedly, these cars are flawed when it comes to family use, but the fully-electric powertrain means you’ll avoid emissions-based charges and enjoy big savings on running costs, making them perfect for commuters – as long as you don’t have any luggage or passengers, and aren’t too fussed about a heater or roof, either.

Skoda’s Pumped-up Pooch

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Your canine companion is part of the family, so why wouldn’t you consider the needs of your four-legged friend when choosing your next car?

It’s clearly time for a change, and Skoda is now providing its UK dealers with the all-new Pumped-up Pooch cabinet. Inside this cabinet are 222 accurately-sized inflatable dogs, one for every breed recognised by The Kennel Club.

No matter which breed you own, you can now use these Pumped-up Pooches to accurately work out how well your dog will fit into your new Skoda. So whether it’s a Collie in a Karoq or a Shiba Inu in a Superb, your dog will now travel in the utmost safety and comfort.

Toyota 222D – the Group S Rally Car

This 560kW rallying MR2 could have seen Toyota conquer the stages, but instead fate intervened
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